Last night was a rough one at hot yoga. I woke up tired from a Tylenol PM that I had taken the night before due to an overly ambitious step class Monday night. I tried some more advanced moves in that class and my knee still doth protest.
All day, I was in a medicine haze. I must have slept fitfully because I wasn’t just hazy, I was exhausted ALL DAY.
You know when you are so tired, you start bargaining with yourself about a workout? I was doing that at lunch, hours before my yoga class.
But I dragged myself there anyway and set up. The room was crowded and I felt like I could just close my eyes and pass out. The instructor had on some different music this time that was more rockish and it wasn’t relaxing me. I think this was supposed to be an energizing class.
We began and I just couldn’t get my groove going. I was distracted, tired, and feeling a little crabby that I couldn’t focus.
You got good days on the mat….and then, not so good days. This was clearly turning out to be one of those not so good days.
I grumbled my way through about 45 minutes of class. It was hot, I felt fat in my workout gear, and the guy next to me was breathing hard. I was in a mood!
Finally, we got to the floor work and I was relieved. At this point, the instructor informed us that the room was at 108.
We took a short break on our backs and I laid there, confused as to what was going on. We started going into some back exercises and I winced. Oh, my poor back. I didn’t want to have a jacked up knee AND back. God help me. I was mentally checked out.
I literally didn’t think I had anything else left in me. Everyone was doing their bridges and I was just laying there. Finally, I said to myself, for crying out loud, you need to accomplish something today that challenges you. Let’s trust yourself to be strong enough to gather up some energy and move.
Then, something strange happened. I was laying there, with one hand on my stomach and the other over my heart and I felt like I had this amazing rush of energy forming in my stomach. I put my hands up by my ears, lifting my elbows up, and willed that ball of energy into my aching back. I literally sprung up into bridge, surprising myself with my strength. This is not a pose I normally do. My wrists are very problematic and this frankly is a pose that scares me.
But I was up, chest bowed up and open to the world. I felt so liberated and peaceful. Of course, then I started to realize what I had just done, freaked myself out and started back down again to my mat. I was panting, cursing myself for breaking my concentration and energy in the pose.
But then I calmed my breathing and turned inward. I thanked my body for showing me what it was capable of. I accepted that it was just one of those days on the mat. I listed to my hair dripping on the mat next to my ear. drip. drip.
When I woke up this morning, I felt limber and happy. Whatever happened last night must have worked out something, because I feel amazing today. My knee still hurts, but my back is soft and I am at peace.
Just goes to show that a bad day on the mat does a body good.