This month, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about happiness. I think it’s something that crosses our minds at the beginning of the new year. How can I be fitter, healthier, happier, etc. But you know how I feel about resolutions.
One of the things I’ve noticed during yoga this month is my constant desire to be less stressed out. I’m going in this hot room, begging the gods quietly for an hour of stress-free bliss. Then, I repeat it again the next time I come in. And the time after that.
I have a laundry list of reasons I should be stressed out. I work full time, teach three classes (which is one class from being full time), care for an aging parent with specific needs, maintain a home (barely), and try to be a good friend and wife. I try not to dwell on all of that because it really sends me into a tailspin if I think about it too long. I know you probably feel the same way too.
It’s normal to have responsibilities, but for crying out loud, can we get a week without some drama?!
I was reading a blog and the author said something that rang true with me: “I often get lost in my to-do list, complain about too many commitments, and align myself with people who give me more headaches than joy”.
Whoa. That is me.
I’ve really started to feel selfish this month because of it. I’m cleaning my mental house and disposing of the clutter that stresses me out. Okay, maybe I’m not feeling so selfish after all.
Granted, you can dispose of all of the drama, but there is a fair amount of drama that enters our worlds for which we have the ability to control. I’m making a conscious effort to stay away from negative people or drama people around me. This includes acquaintances, co-workers, and anyone else that I generally feel has a cloud of drama hanging around.
I’ve started to ask myself, “does this make me happy? does this person make me happy? can I avoid either of these things and not suffer repercussions at work or in my personal life?”.
These questions have helped me to really start reevaluating my world in the past 28 days.
And what I’ve found is this: I’ve been asking for stress relief less and less during my yoga sessions. This is a major shift for me.
At first, this was difficult to imagine. You mean I have a choice about the drama in my life? I’ve been so far gone into the habit of saying yes to everyone, putting up with people because that’s “just the way they are”, or doing things even though it causes me grief that it was hard to start saying no at first. No to the whole lot of it.
It’s been liberating. With a few small changes, I’ve found some more happiness in my world. This alone has helped me to manage my normal drama-filled world more effectively.
So this is my plan for the rest of the year. Be choosy.
Be choosy about what I allow to enter my physical and mental space. If it doesn’t benefit me in some way, I’m going to start doing my best to let it pass me by. I need to stop trying to fix things, people, and situations around me. Knowing we are all imperfect creatures is one thing, but choosing to immerse yourself in imperfection is another. By doing this consciously, I hope to be a more peaceful person this year.
Because I deserve it, right?