I was about to start my blog title with “Surviving Bikram yoga” and then the day, when I realized that I’m not really “surviving” class anymore.
This was a strange realization for me because I’ve pretty much been “surviving” any type of physical activity for the last two years. Yes, two years. It’s ridiculous to type this, but that’s the reality of where my body has been. So it was bizarre to think, wow, I’m not really THAT gimpy anymore.
I think I may have recently graduated from gimpy to the next stage without realizing it. I think it happened a few weeks ago. Remember when I had that week of terrible classes at the Bikram studio and then I broke that physiological plateau and have been avoiding sitting down during class ever since? I am convinced something happened.
Perhaps my body and my inner mind had a dialogue. I bet it went like this:
- Body: this sucks. I hate you.
- Mind: I’m sorry, you paid good money for this class and you like it here.
- Body: Whatevs. You’re just saying that because you’re cheap.
- Mind: But you haven’t been having the hip spasms in over a month. We haven’t texted Cori begging for a butt massage in weeks!
- Body: I guess so but this is hard.
- Mind: Exercise isn’t supposed to be easy, you slacker.
- Body: But you still can’t do half of these poses without wobbling all over. You are in WAY over your head, my friend. Go back to your step class and start complaining about your knee again so we can go back to PT where we belong.
- Mind: I miss step class but maybe this is better for me right now. I have been doing cardio stuff at home and it’s not hurting my knee like step class.
- Body: Should we mark our calendar for a hurt knee in a few weeks? It’s been awhile. I’m feeling like you don’t care about me anymore.
- Mind: No, we are not doing PT ever again and you are actually doing well now so stop complaining.
- Body: Define well.
- Mind: We are healthy, knee pain free, making neuromuscular connections in the past few weeks, and work our butts off in Bikram class. We feel powerful and accomplished when we leave.
- Body: I can see your point. I’ve been a whiner……but we like Cori’s butt rubs.
So I’m not sure if that’s EXACTLY what went down, but you get the picture. Somehow, my mind and body are making peace with each other. I don’t feel like I’m trapped by fear when I exercise now. It’s quite liberating. Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware of my limitations, but I’m not living by them anymore.
Mind: Namaste, body. We’re cool now.